Diary 3

You know when you pass a stranger on the street or see them on the bus or a skytrain and you think they are cute...do you ever wonder what they're thinking and if they are thinking the same thing about you? This happened to me today as I was coming home from a resume building workshop and I saw this cute mixed guy on the skytrain. Yup, he definitely was mixed, I can tell, it's my gift. He's one of those mixed guys that looks more Asian than White but has the biracial component to him. My first thought was, “this guy is hot!" Usually when I see a cute guy I get really nervous and self-aware and try to be as graceful as possible but I actually imagine myself as looking uptight. I fix my hair and try not to seem obvious that I'm attracted to this guy. I think it's a girl thing. I was sitting right in front of him so he was facing my profile while playing with his ipad and listening to music but would look outside the window a few times. All I could think was, I hope he talks to me. But that usually never happens. Anywho, in my head I wondered if he thought I was cute too. But I had to get off my stop so I didn't give it much time to play out. However, as I got up and walked away, I noticed from my peripheral vision that he watched me walk past the window so he was looking. If I had more guts, I would have made eye contact with him and gave him a flirty smile as I walked past. *Sigh. I also imagined that if this were a movie, he would have chased after me when I got off at my stop and asked me for my name and a date. But this is reality.