Diary 2

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one ever in life that's not gonna find true love. I feel as though everywhere I look and everyone around me has found their special someone, someone that they care for, someone that makes them feel special, someone that makes them feel LOVED. I've pretty much gone my entire life without being in a serious relationship and it's something in my life that I seek. Friends tell me, it's okay, my time will come and that I'm young, but I'm not that young anymore. I'm out of my teens and into my early 20's. I've always had a problem with the word unrequited. It's always I like someone but they don't like me back or the other way around. Why can't things be mutual? I'm think I'm a nice girl with a good personality and especially a good heart. I can make people laugh and I love life, have fun, try new things and I don't think I'm butt ugly, although I have my days. I would say I'm attractive, not to sound vain or anything cuz I have lots of flaws and I'm not super gorgeous. However, I feel like guys that hit on me only want one thing. I'm not looking to just hook up with guys because trust me, I've had offers. I think that guys around this age, that's all they want to do is have fun and hook up. Me, I just want to find someone special, to be in a real, serious, committed relationship. Is that so much to ask? I think guys are afraid of commitment and the one's who are willing to commit, I don't like. My friends tell me I'm too picky and my standards are too high, but I don't and won't settle for anything less. I need to be attracted to the guy physically, to have sparks, and chemistry, I need to like his personality, especially a sense of humour. If either don't meet my expectations then I can't be anything more than friends. Basically, my non-existent love life and choosing my future career path is what I'm currently struggling with these days. Then there's the problem with the guy I do like, but I don't know if he feels the same way.